Daddy's Little Girl
05-12-2009, 09:25 AM
#1
5th Gear Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Detroit; where the weak are killed and eaten.
Posts: 2,553
Daddy's Little Girl
A father (who owned a CLASSIC MUSTANG, in order to keep this thread on topic) watched his young daughter playing in the garden.
He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.
Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.
He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention.
He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
'Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?' she asked.
'They're mating,' her father replied.
'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked.
'That's a Daddy Longlegs,' her father answered.
'So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?' the little girl asked.
As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied, 'No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.'
'The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then lifted her foot and stomped them flat.
'Well, we're not having any of that gay **** in our garden,' she said
He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.
Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.
He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention.
He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
'Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?' she asked.
'They're mating,' her father replied.
'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked.
'That's a Daddy Longlegs,' her father answered.
'So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?' the little girl asked.
As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied, 'No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.'
'The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then lifted her foot and stomped them flat.
'Well, we're not having any of that gay **** in our garden,' she said
05-12-2009, 12:18 PM
#2
3rd Gear Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 574
Once there was a family of prostitutes: daughter, mother, and grandmother.
One day, when the daughter got home from work, her mother asked, "How's tricks, dear".
"Times are tough" replied the daughter. "The only business I could drum up was $40 for a BJ".
The mother responded, "You think you have it bad? When I was your age, I was lucky to get $20 for a BJ".
Hearing this, the grandmother also had chime in. "That's nothing ... Back during the depression, I was lucky just to have something warm in my stomach".
Then they went for a drive in their classic Mustang.
One day, when the daughter got home from work, her mother asked, "How's tricks, dear".
"Times are tough" replied the daughter. "The only business I could drum up was $40 for a BJ".
The mother responded, "You think you have it bad? When I was your age, I was lucky to get $20 for a BJ".
Hearing this, the grandmother also had chime in. "That's nothing ... Back during the depression, I was lucky just to have something warm in my stomach".
Then they went for a drive in their classic Mustang.
05-12-2009, 12:32 PM
#3
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Ramona, CA
Posts: 2,682
Ohh nooo..... LOL those are great!
05-12-2009, 01:34 PM
#4
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: TX
Posts: 1,282
Let's see: Someone advocates the individual right of the use of guns whenever they get a chance (putting it in their signatures on a webpage about CARS for instance, wtf?). Said person rails against the thought of someone outside of their household passing a law that restricts their personal freedom in their own home...
... makes fun of gay people for wanting to exercise their right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Selective use of the Constitution and Bill of Rights? How democratic....
Forty years from now people who are anti-gay will look as retarded as people who were against the civil rights movement.
Being gay makes absolutely no sense to me, but who the f$%k am I to decide what another American does in their home?
Cars, thought we were here about cars? Moderators?
... makes fun of gay people for wanting to exercise their right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Selective use of the Constitution and Bill of Rights? How democratic....
Forty years from now people who are anti-gay will look as retarded as people who were against the civil rights movement.
Being gay makes absolutely no sense to me, but who the f$%k am I to decide what another American does in their home?
Cars, thought we were here about cars? Moderators?
05-12-2009, 04:05 PM
#5
3rd Gear Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 574
I was wondering how long it was going to take before someone said they were offended.
I almost started my other post with "Just remember Waffles, you started it".
I almost started my other post with "Just remember Waffles, you started it".
05-12-2009, 04:13 PM
#6
5th Gear Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Wasilla, Alaska
Posts: 2,505
They were gay spiders you dork! Spiders don't have any rights.
05-12-2009, 04:48 PM
#8
4th Gear Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 1,019
I called my stockbroker today and asked, "what are you buying”?
His answer: Canned goods and ammunition
-------------------
I personally could care less if someone is gay, that's their business until they keep trying to shove it in your face all the time.
I don't tell them what goes on in my bedroom and really don't care to have what goes on in theirs constantly shoved in my face either.
His answer: Canned goods and ammunition
-------------------
I personally could care less if someone is gay, that's their business until they keep trying to shove it in your face all the time.
I don't tell them what goes on in my bedroom and really don't care to have what goes on in theirs constantly shoved in my face either.
05-12-2009, 05:59 PM
#9
5th Gear Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Wasilla, Alaska
Posts: 2,505
[/QUOTE]I don't tell them what goes on in my bedroom and really don't care to have what goes on in theirs constantly shoved in my face either.[/QUOTE]
You don't want that
You don't want that
05-12-2009, 06:08 PM
#10
5th Gear Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Detroit; where the weak are killed and eaten.
Posts: 2,553
Let's see: Someone advocates the individual right of the use of guns whenever they get a chance (putting it in their signatures on a webpage about CARS for instance, wtf?). Said person rails against the thought of someone outside of their household passing a law that restricts their personal freedom in their own home...
... makes fun of gay people for wanting to exercise their right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Selective use of the Constitution and Bill of Rights? How democratic....
Forty years from now people who are anti-gay will look as retarded as people who were against the civil rights movement.
Being gay makes absolutely no sense to me, but who the f$%k am I to decide what another American does in their home?
Cars, thought we were here about cars? Moderators?
... makes fun of gay people for wanting to exercise their right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Selective use of the Constitution and Bill of Rights? How democratic....
Forty years from now people who are anti-gay will look as retarded as people who were against the civil rights movement.
Being gay makes absolutely no sense to me, but who the f$%k am I to decide what another American does in their home?
Cars, thought we were here about cars? Moderators?
EASSSSSYYYY killer. It's a joke. Maybe you should take a break from the internet for a few days. Let us know when you're back on your medication.
It's ok to laugh, you know. I supported Bush, but still laughed at jokes about him. Just like I laugh at jokes about men, and about white people. Because I'm perfectly capable of seeing things as funny, instead of crying about them.