Search



Go Back   MustangForums.com > Other > Off Topic
Sign in using an external account
Register Forgot Password?
Search

Off Topic A place for you car junkies to boldly post off topic.
Sponsored by American Muscle


Welcome to Mustang Forums!
Welcome to Mustang Forums.

You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our community, at no cost, you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is free, fast and simple, so please join our community today!


Reply
 
 
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 10-12-2004, 07:02 PM   #1
StangMang
5th Gear Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Assachusetts
Posts: 2,899
Send a message via AIM to StangMang
Default Dirty Jokes

One morning on the news the weather man said "we're expecting 8 inches of snow tonight."
There was no snow.

The next morning the news lady asked the weather man..."what happened to the 8 inches you promised me last night?"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2 neighbor kids, a little boy, Jonny, and a little girl, Jennie, and they were always picking on each other by saying, "My dad can beat up you dad," etc.

One day they are outside playing, and Jonny says, "Hey, Jennie, come here."

Jennie skips over and asks, "What do you want?"

Jonny replys, "I talked to my big brother yesterday and he said," as he pulled down his pant, "that I have one of these and you don't!"

Jennie was speechless and ran home crying.

The next day Jennie says, "Hey, Jonny, come here."

Jonny walks over laughing. "Yea?"

Jennie said, "I told my mom what you said to me yesterday, and she said," as she pulls down her pants, "that I have one of these and you dont! BUT... with one of these I can get as many of those as I want!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's the worst part about eating a vegetable?

Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done!
------------------------------------------------------------------

Q. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

A. He worked it out with a pencil.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Theres this girl,she is five.She goes spying on her big sister and she hears her cussing out her boyfriend and she says,"you mother f*cking a**hole!"Just then jill, thats the little girl,interrupts them talking and blurts out, big sissy,what does a**hole mean? The girl surprised by the question,says BOYFRIEND!Okay , so the girl runs off onto the bathroom.


Jill sneaks up on her dad while he was shaving and says boo!THE dad says "Sh*t!" So the girl ask her dad "What does sh*t mean?" And he stammers "Shaving cream". So she said okay and went about her day.
Jill then runs into her mom, who was in the kitchen cutting the turkey. Her mom is startled when Jill comes in, cuts her hand, and says "F*ck!". So Jill ask "What does f*ck mean momma?" And scramblimg for an answer, her mom says "cutting."
All of the sudden, they hear the door. Jill answers and sees her Dads boss at the door. He ask "Sweetie, do you know where you everyone is at?" And she says, "Well, my sister's talking to her a**hole, my Moms f*cking the turkey and my Dads wiping the sh*t off his face."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man reads a book in a bed next to his wife & his finger went to tease his wife's p*ssy. Wife asks "you want sex?". "No, just to wet my finger to turn the page!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

this guy got shipwrecked on an island, and the island only had men on it. so he goes up to the leader of the island, after 2 weeks and no sex, and says "hey, what do you do for fun around here?".

the leader of the island says "you see that barrel, stick your dick in it, and pump". so this shipwrecked guy walks up to the barrel, pulls out his meat, and starts pumping. after blowing his lot he comes back and says to the leader "when can i do that?", to which the leader replies "monday through friday, and saturday !".

the new guy says to the leader "what about sunday ?".

the leader replies "thats your day in the barrel !".
This ad is not displayed to registered or logged-in members.
Register your free account today and become a member on Mustang Forums!
__________________
StangMang is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2004, 07:53 PM   #2
Dan04COBRA
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location:
Posts: 14,907
Send a message via AIM to Dan04COBRA
Default RE: Dirty Jokes

Two white horses jumped in mud.
__________________

2004 GTO A4. 232/234 .595/.598 112lsa cam. ps lt's/springs/rockers/pushrods/no cats/original 40's. 350rwhp stock intake & paper filter. Next mods - 3600 stall/mvb/gears tbd/afr 205 heads
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HTIzUUo_R0 Idle vid
10 CBR1000RR - Current
09 CBR600RR Phoenix - gone
04 Cobra - gone.
02 GT - gone.
Dan04COBRA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2004, 08:27 PM   #3
bacon
3rd Gear Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 855
Send a message via AIM to bacon
Default RE: Dirty Jokes

hahaha....lmao
__________________
bacon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2004, 08:38 PM   #4
Redline03GT
3rd Gear Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Houston
Posts: 937
Default RE: Dirty Jokes

Hey b*tch nice legs. What time do they open?
_________________________________________

What did one *****'s knee cap say to the other?
Nice to meet you.
__________________
- Your Worst Nightmare -
Redline03GT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2004, 09:11 PM   #5
Grn N Gry 5OH
6th Gear Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Vehicle: 1992
Location: VA
Posts: 5,858
OneGearhead
Send a message via AIM to Grn N Gry 5OH
Default RE: Dirty Jokes

nice ones 'Stang. those were good. i had heard the first one, but, none of the others.

nice one Redline(kneecaps. haha)
__________________
'92 GT-bbk shorties, bbk o/r h-pipe, 2.5" flowmaster cat-back, Pro 5.0 shifter, march underdrives, bbk fenderwell mount

'01 Xterra SE 4x4-for the off-the-road fun times in life!
Grn N Gry 5OH is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-13-2004, 02:29 AM   #6
FoxGT
5th Gear Member
 
FoxGT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Vehicle: unicycle
Location: United States
Posts: 3,449
Send a message via AIM to FoxGT
Default RE: Dirty Jokes

Quote:
ORIGINAL: Dan02GT

Two white horses jumped in mud.
ROFLMMFAO!
__________________
Forced Induction & Engine Management Systems
FoxGT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2004, 05:04 AM   #7
mustangmomma2000
I ♥ Acer
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: MICHIGAN (lower)
Posts: 41
Send a message via AIM to mustangmomma2000 Send a message via Yahoo to mustangmomma2000
Default RE: Dirty Jokes

hilarious i was just taking a trip back in time (before i joined up)
mustangmomma2000 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2004, 10:02 AM   #8
nanaki
Retired MF Moderator
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 14,891
Default RE: Dirty Jokes

2 bananas are sitting on the river bank. Both deciding on if they should go in. The water looked pretty cold. Then, all of a sudden, a piece of **** comes floating down. The **** yells out 'come on in! the water's fine!" One banana turns to the other banana and says "you believe that ****?"

------------------

How do you know we have a gay president?

All the cigars in the white house taste like ****

-----------------

What's the difference between a snowman and a snow-woman?

snowballs

-----------------

What's the difference between toast and toilet paper?

Toast usually comes out brown on both sides
__________________
2004 Mustang GT - SOLD!

2009 Nissan Altima Coupe 3.5 - stock

2007 Pontiac Solstice GXP - GMPP reflash

2007 Corvette - Boltons, Vortech, etc
nanaki is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2004, 10:14 AM   #9
vshayes
I ♥ Acer
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: United States
Posts: 1,374
Send a message via AIM to vshayes Send a message via Yahoo to vshayes
Default RE: Dirty Jokes

lol.. all very funny.
vshayes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2004, 11:40 AM   #10
mustangmomma2000
I ♥ Acer
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: MICHIGAN (lower)
Posts: 41
Send a message via AIM to mustangmomma2000 Send a message via Yahoo to mustangmomma2000
Default RE: Dirty Jokes

how to get a man to read the sexuaxl harrassment policy:
Click the image to open in full size.
lmao
mustangmomma2000 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2004, 11:40 AM
MustangForums
Ford Mustang




Paid Advertisement

 
 
 
Reply

Tags
03, as, banana, cobra, dirty, emblems, inches, joke, jokes, mustang, sexuaxl, snow, sunday, those, what

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Forum Jump

Advertising

Featured Sponsors
Vendor Directory
New Sponsors
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:58 PM.

© Internet Brands, Inc.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.5.2

This forum is owned and operated by Internet Brands, Inc., a Delaware corporation. It is not authorized or endorsed by the Ford Motor Company and is not affiliated with the Ford Motor Company or its related companies in any way. Ford® is a registered trademark of the Ford Motor Company
Emails Backup