Somebody Please Put This Pile Out of Its Misery

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Ford Mustang Abomination

Could this be the worst-looking car of all time?

Have you ever wondered what the three-way lovechild of a Studebaker Avanti, a Ford Mustang and a Flathead Catfish would look like? No? Well, now you know anyway thanks to this awful thing. It started life as a rental fleet-spec Mustang complete with automatic transmission and anemic V6 engine. But it has evolved. Or devolved.

 

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Life for a six-banger Mustang isn’t typically exciting. Most of these cars are ho-hum commuters or rented by twenty-somethings on vacation — assuming the car is a convertible. Nirvana for these things is a burnout at Cars & Coffee. Not this.

This car has undergone a complete transformation thanks to new “HAND FORMED STEEL” body panels. You can tell they’re hand-formed because of the generous panel gaps between the front fender and quarter panel. The door skins and roof are the only factory-original pieces left to remind us that this was once a Mustang.

The front-end uses a pair of headlights borrowed from a “Lotus Eliese [sic],” presumably because Mustang units don’t offer the excitement that only comes from British-sourced electronics. Completing the round-in-front, square-in-back look are a pair of taillights from a 1989 Cadillac.

To help escape from the relentless mockery they probably took while stuck in traffic, the builder added a Vortech V-3 supercharger. The next owner should make sure they keep a close eye on those body panels when the drop the hammer, it’d be a shame if that “HAND FORMED STEEL” peeled off under power.

The car’s leather interior has been preserved from stock. It also features satellite radio which you can use to drown out the urge to launch this thing off the nearest overpass. At just under $6,000, it would be a decent deal for a 37k-mile Mustang, except it has a salvage title. And, you know, everything else.

Interested? Here’s an idea: Buy the car and put it in a nice fancy garage like this. Tell people you’re hiding a rare, one-of-a-kind car there. Then never take it out. Ever.

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Scott Huntington loves writing about cars almost as much as he likes driving them. Follow him on Twitter @SMHuntington or hit him up at http://www.offthethrottle.com.

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