There is a LARGE GREY connector between the door and the car body. how do you remove it? I need to put the black stretchy grommet back in place.

 

Pictures would help...

 

he's talking about the large body connector. I had to disconnect it about 2 years ago and do not remember how I did it. I almost want to say that you have to apply pressure to both sides at once b/c there are tabs on both sides. sorry can't help, but playing with it, you should be able to do it.

what I can share is that grommet is a huge PITA to put back in the hole. I recommend greasing the hole with silicone and wrapping a nylon string around the grommet to keep it from wobbling around while trying to install it. it took me an hour of playing with it before I figured out that trick.